Saturday, March 29, 2008

Superbad

After Knocked Up and The 40-Year-Old-Virgin, this is another kick-ass comedy from Judd Apatow. It follows the (sex) lives of two teenagers as they are just about to just graduate from high school. I aint sayin anythin more. Read the dialogue below and figure out for yourself.

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Seth: Yo. Hey, I was doing some research for next year and I think I figured out which website I wanna subscribe to. The Vag-tastic Voyage.

Evan: Which one is the Vag-tastic Voyage?


S: The Vag-tastic Voyage is the one where they find random girls on the street, and they invite them into a van and then they bang them in the van. It's like 13 bucks a month and you get access to other sites. Like one's Latina, one's Asian, you know, there's one for fetishes... ..like feet and pee-pee and shit and stuff like that.

E: That's disgusting. You're like an animal.

S: I'm... What? I'm disgusting? You're the weird one, man. Don't make me feel weird because I like porn. You're weird for not liking porn. I'm normal as shit.


E: Peeing on people. That's normal?


S: Evan, I'm not saying I'm gonna look at it. I'm just saying that it comes with the site, okay? I don't know what I'm gonna be into 10 years from now.

E: I'm just sick of all the amateur stuff. I mean, like, if I'm paying top dollar, I want a little production value. Like some editing, transition, something. Some music.


S: Yeah, well, I'm sorry the Coen brothers don't direct the porn that I watch. They're hard to get ahold of, okay? Plus your parents are gonna be looking at the bill, dipshit.

E: Yeah, you're right. I probably should pick the one with the least dirty name. What about, like, Perfect Ten? Something like that, you know?

S: Like Perfect Ten?


E: Because that could be any number of things. They can't really get you for that. That could be, like, a bowling website.

S: Yeah, but they don't really show dick going in, which is a huge concern.


E: I didn't realize that.


S: Plus, have you ever seen a vagina by itself?


E: Not for me.


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S: Oh, fuck me. Look at those nipples. They're like little baby toes.

E: It's not fair they get to flaunt that stuff and I have to hide every erection I get.

S: You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it and it feels awesome. I almost blew a load into my bellybutton.

E: I mean, just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners and just, like, wanted to see them. I mean, that's the world I one day wanna live in.

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S: When I was a little kid, I kind of had this problem.And it's not even that big of a deal. Something like 8 percent of kids do it, but whatever. It's.......For some reason, I don't know why, I would just kind of sit around all day......and draw pictures of dicks.

E: What?

S: Draw pictures of dicks.

E: Dicks? Like a man dick?

S: Yeah. Like a man dick. I'd sit there for hours, drawing dicks. I don't know what it was. I couldn't touch the pen to paper without drawing the shape of a penis.

E: That's fucked.

S: No shit, it's really fucked up. Here I am, this little kid and I can't stop drawing dicks to save my own life.

E: All right. I mean, I don't see what this has to do with Becca.

S: Just listen. Okay?

S: Your precious little Becca sat next to me for all of fourth grade. And in the classroom is where I did the majority of my illustrations. I was very secretive about this whole dick operation I had going on. Even I thought I was fucking crazy. Imagine what everyone else would think.

S: So I would stash all of my dick drawings in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that I had. So one day I'm finishing up this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard. All of a sudden....

Pussy!

E: You hit Becca's foot with your dick?

S: Yeah. I know.

E: Oh, my God!

S: She starts crying. She flips out. And she rats me out to the principal. He finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest. And he fucking flips out. He calls in my parents. Turns out this principal is some religious fanatic. He thinks I'm possessed by some dick devil. My parents make me see a therapist, and he's asking me dick questions. They made me stop eating foods shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no Popsicles. You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds.

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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Big lebowski

Here goes my first post - after reading the previous review the movie that immediately came to my mind was the 98 comedy flick-The big Lebowski by the Coen brothers(rings any bells- ya the guyz who made No Country For Old Men) about a total loser Dude(the protagonist's name in the movie is indeed the"Dude").While "Knocked Up" had a Loser transform into a good guy this movie celebrates joblessness and The "Dude" from the beginning to the end of the movie stays a loser(but a winner in my mind for his shear attitude to life).

I watched the movie a couple of months back so don't clearly remember the plot completely,but here's the link.

Basically its an adventure where The "dude"(jeffrey lebowski- play by Jeff Bridges) gets mistaken for some other guy called Lebowski and lands in all sorts of trouble. He is accompanied by his friend walter(John Goodman) and donny(played by the brilliant Steve Buscemi- u must have seen him in The reservoir Dogs). The "dude" despite all his efforts and advice from his pals screws up badly in all he does . In all this a quite a wierd movie a different kind of comedy that all of u guyz must try. This movie also celebrates friendship(The relationship btw The "Dude" & Walter was something that personally touched me & was beautifully shown & enacted).

Now coming to the technicalities,this being an IMDB Top 250 movie(as most of my posts wud be i gess) one can expect a brilliant script and direction. I would say the script is not brilliant its mind blowing,i mean who other than the Coen brothers cud have come up wid such a wonderful plot. the lead character(Lebowski) has been played very spontaneously and dynamically by jeff bridgess well supported by John goodman & steve Buscemi. The direction is crisp and the dialogues are fantastic and comic(warning:u'll get a really heavy dose of the "F" word all thru the movie ). i highly recommend this movie to everyone irrespective of your taste this is a movie i gess each one of you would love. The"dude" is in fact one of my favorite characters of all time.

Rating:*****

A few memorable quotes:
Walter Sobchak: I told those fucks down at the league office a thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!
Donny: What's Shabbos?
Walter Sobchak: Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit
[shouts]
Walter Sobchak: don't fucking roll! Shomer shabbos!
The Dude: Walter...
Walter Sobchak: Shomer fucking shabbos.
The Dude: Oh fuck it.

Walter Sobchak: I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money. My point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death...
The Dude: Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even fucking Jewish, man.
Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talkin' about?
The Dude: Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic...
Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!
The Dude: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
Walter Sobchak: And you know this!
The Dude: Yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced.
Walter Sobchak: So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?
The Dude: It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You're living in the fucking past.
Walter Sobchak: Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax...
[shouting]
Walter Sobchak: You're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past!

Knocked Up

For the first post, I'd like to start off with a movie that's really close to my heart. Not that it touches me in a way that Shawshank Redemption does, but nevertheless, this is one movie I'd like you all to see.

Knocked Up is the story of Ben Stone(d?) - your typical American loser, who loiters around all day doing nothing (but wait, he still got to bang Katherine Heigl). Ben doesn't have enough money to pay his rent, doesn't have enough money to pay his telephone bills; hell, he can't even buy himself a proper meal. He just lives off funds received in compensation for an injury and sporadically works on a Mr. Skin - like website with his roommates. And yeah, he smokes marijuana all day (lots and lots of it). In fact there's this scene in the movie where Ben and his friends cover their heads with fishbowls and smoke weed inside.

Alison Scott (Heigl) is a career-minded woman who has just been given an on-air role with her employer, E! , and is living with her sister Debbie's (Leslie Mann- check that rack - and that ass too!) family. While celebrating her promotion, Alison meets Ben at a local night club. After a night of drinking, they end up having sex. Due to a misunderstanding, they do not use contraception: Alison uses the phrase "just do it" to encourage Ben to put the condom on faster, which he misinterprets as "a condom is not needed." The following morning, they quickly learn over breakfast that they have little in common.

Eight weeks later, Alison experiences morning sickness at work, and soon, discovers she is pregnant. The rest of the movie focuses on how Ben Stone(d) and Allison get through the entire pregnancy process.

I recommend you watch this movie for the dialogue. And while you're at it, make sure you get stoned before you do. Trust me, there are a few scenes in the movie where you actually appreciate the subtleties in the script, just because you're high.

Damn good casting, all actors with amazing comic timing. The actors don't appear as if they are reciting lines off a script- they just seem to converse. I don't usually go for movies that have no nude scenes in them, but this one just takes the cake. So go, get knocked up!!


Rating: ****


Here are some memorable lines from the movie:

Ben: Do you want to do it doggie style?
Alison: You’re not going to fuck me like a dog.
Ben Stone: It’s doggie style. It’s just the style. We don’t have to go outside or anything.
--

Alison: I’m pregnant.
Ben: Fuck off!
Alison: What?
Ben: What?
Alison: I’m pregnant.
Ben: Pregnant… with emotion?
Alison: Pregnant with a baby.
--

Ben:Why the fuck didn't you stop me once we started?
Alison: I don't know! I couldn't tell that you didn't have one on!I was drunk!
Ben: Was your vagina drunk? Did you think it's the thinnest condom on earth I have on? I'm a fucking inventor? I made a dick-skin condom? He hollowed out a penis and put it on? What the fuck?
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(Ben's friends advising him on how NOT to get women pregnant..)
Jason:You gotta know all the tricks.
Like, for example, if a woman's on top, she can't get pregnant.
It's just gravity. Everyone knows that. What goes up must come down.